Bir saat sonra, biz İstanbul’a otobüslen gideceğiz.

Huzzah!

Yarın saat dokuz buçukta, biz havaalanına gideceğiz bizim uçak için.

Hoşçakal bizden Bulgaristan’da!
Byeee
Sevgiden bizi.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the inaugural (and, for that matter, final) Bulgaria Awards ceremony! These are the awards for the coolest, the silliest, the funniest, the most wretched things (technical term) we have encountered this year!

This, the first half of the awards ceremony, is brought to you by Stu. My delightful wife Elly will conclude the presentation soon!

Best Cake and Coffee Establishment:

неделя (Nedelya – BGian for “Sunday”)

Humf – we took you here! Their coffee is kinda okay (which in Bulgaria means it’s exceptional!) and they have a huge range of yummy cakes. Like the majority of Bulgaria’s plentiful cafes, Nedelya is very nicely fitted out with a giant display fridge for the cakes and classy (albeit fake) dark wood panelling all over. If only smoking was illegal inside! We enjoyed being able to go there and chill out on a weekend afternoon – and the fact that you can get two coffees and two big slices of cake for around AU$5 is nice too! Just don’t ask for one of their branded calendars (they’re borderline soft-porn!).

Best Language Mistake:

Elly and I were at Mirem’s house for a Turkish lesson and we were learning Bible verses in Turkish. Actually, it’s worse than that; we were being given important verses by Mirem and being asked to translate them into Turkish to show that we could render them intelligible. This is difficult, since the English used in the Bible is very different to spoken English, and we really didn’t have the requisite Turkish to make it work! But we tried. And paraphrased drastically. Anyway, none of that excuses my language mistake…

What Stu meant to say: “Allah bize Kutsal Ruh verdi” = “God gave us the Holy Spirit”.

What Stu actually said: “Allah bize Kutsal Ruh vurdu” = “God struck us [with] the Holy Spirit”.

Gah! Definitely time for a mono-lingual holiday!

Best Dad-Joke in a Language Other Than Your First:

Another Turkish pun (on purpose this time). So… the Turkish word for prayer is “dua” (pr. doo-ah), and the Turkish word for wall is “duvar” (pr. doo-vahr). I’m sure experienced Dads all over the world are sitting there nutting out the possible puns already! Elly and I had gone to the Millet meeting (church) which had only just started being held in the church building you might have seen in our video (when it was half-built).

So, this one evening, Kemal was up the front praying loudly (with his eyes closed) to end the meeting. He was swaying from foot to foot a little bit, with his arms way up in the air. Without noticing, he started turning away from the rest of the meeting until he was facing the wall. His supportive wife started poking people and pointing at Kemal, sniggering openly. Before long there was an irresistable ripple of laughter happening, at which point Kemal finished praying, opened his eyes, realised he was facing a wall and joined in the giggling! And it was at that precisely timed moment when I pointed out that Kemal was supposed to giving us a dua (prayer) not a duvar (wall). Ha ha ha ha! Well done, Stu.

[start of slightly off-topic rant.] When they started gathering at the “church building”, the change in the meeting was profound[ly disturbing]! Whereas when we’d met in Kemal (the pastor)’s house, people would show up late, if at all, and Kemal would give surly, 10-minute sermons, things changed. Attendance doubled immediately, and people started bringing musical instruments, and Kemal was transformed into a yelling, ranting, enthusiastic preacher-man! If that sounds good, it isn’t. Really, all that was happening was that the people were mimicking the behaviour they might have seen at the Bulgarian (ie. “real”) meetings. It went entirely against their own cultural norms and while it might have made them feel good to be able to associate themselves with what they saw as a real meeting, it could really only get in the way of them genuinely engaging with Jesus in their unique cultural context. [end of rant.]

Best ‘Thank goodness no one else speaks English’ moment:

Okay, this one needs some explaining. Are you familiar with the Meyers-Briggs style of personality test? Elly tells me they were quite the rage on Facebook this year. The test is a way of categorising different personality types and your “result” takes the form of four letters – E for extrovert or I for introvert; S for sensing or N for intuition; F for feeling or T for thinking; and P for perceiving or J for judging. If that’s confusing, bear with me because it’s not strictly relevant to the story! In the last section, Elly is a “P”, meaning she generally needs to hear lots of info before being able to make a decision. So… there we were, walking down the road, with people around, loudly talking in English about our preferences in decision-making.

Elly said (something to the effect of): “But I like to know all the relevant facts before choosing…”

What Stu meant to say: “Yes, that reflects your preference for “perceiving” rather than “judging”.

What Stu actually said: “Yeah, but that’s because of your P-ness”. (Say it out loud; it’s funnier.)

—

Is making bad jokes all we’ve done this year?!

That’s all for now. You can be sure that Elly will update you in a couple of days with the final few categories.

Hope you enjoyed the show. Cue the orchestra.

Cheers

Stu.

Today’s is an entirely visual blog entry!

Sometimes I get jealous of Aydin colouring-in, so here’s what I came up with. Elly calls it The Game of Life: mission in Bulgaria edition. It’s a decidedly tongue-in-cheek journey through our time in Bulgaria.

(Click to enlarge – I don’t want you all to sue me for damage to your retinas!)